The sound of complicated footwork flirted with my mind as I tried to grasp the moment. I couldn't; it was too much in too stressful a period and my brain refused to understand anything unnecessary. I was confused, and I had a right to be. Well, I believed I did, but everything seems that why when you're angry. Which I was. Very. Which I might add, isn't a wise thing to be while you're holding a rather sharp and intimidating sword. You might start to imagine all the things you could with it, where you could plunge it... but that's besides the point.
Slowly my muscles relaxed and I opened my eyes. Before this I hadn't realized they were closed; I had been focusing too hard. The laced metal of my protective head gear made it hard to see and I suddenly felt like I was back to being a beginner in front of disapproving parents. This thought only made me more frustrated, more angry. My mind returned to the duel. Why couldn't I hit this guy? He was blocking every lunge, every ploy! He didn't even use the training that was normal for any novice. He just stood there! Silent and grave. Now I wasn't only angry at the world; I was angry at him. I was losing, and it pissed me off.
This is me trying to write more during the summer, since I've been slacking off. (And I really need to fix that) SO, you can like it, hate it, I don't care. Its just me writing what's ever in my head. By the way, this wasn't supposed to be hardcore writing this time. It was more of a teenager writing style (sorta like meg cabot....but not >.<) Yep, just me having fun. Also I've been watching a documentary about swords ^.^(if you couldn't tell)
I thought it was dancing for the first two sentences.
ReplyDeleteJust something I thought I'd share...
you can take it or leave it, compliment-wise.
I'd like to see a tad more, just to understand what time period this is based in (my brain says medieval? que?)
i agree with steph as to the more details -- i'd just be satisfied knowing what gender the person was :P
ReplyDeletewatch out for the "had beens" and all forms of it; it makes your writing a little passive. just a tip. "was" and "were" are fine ;)
I WIKE IT. I WIKE IT LOTS.
it's much better than meg cabot. she sucks.
Its actually fencing that I was going for. Like with the weird helmets and padding. I actually might right more segments from this idea... I had a goofy idea as to who the guys is... muahaha
ReplyDeleteEw tons of typos in that last comment...sorry!
ReplyDeleteI like the dancing/fencing parallel.
ReplyDeletePlease don't aspire to be Meg Cabot. I know you can be more -soulful eyes.