That's what it was. Magic. Some actually thought it was an alien wonder planted on earth for us mere humans. The Marfa Lights, they called them. Orbs of light drifting across the smooth sand of Texas. Flying, but always hovering in the same place.
They were beautiful.
The tourists even dedicated a festival to them. They aren't aliens. I've watched each night and the stars move towards them. Slowly. But I saw them creep closer.
The lights are beacons. Like light houses calling to ships on a sea's tempests.
Some believed the connection was aliens, not me. I believed it was magic. Magic flowing through the skies and tying it seamlessly to the lights.
Lights that glow blue and purple and magenta.
Like pixie dust.
LOVE IT.
ReplyDeleteWow.
That was really different than your normal style, and it totally worked.
I'm always a huge fan of the simplistic, short statements- "Like pixie dust", "They were beautiful".
Concise, but perfectly suited to the prose.
Great job. Keep up the awesome work.
Again, agree with Steph, this was lovely.
ReplyDeleteYou struck a really good balance between imagery and realism here.
ONE COMMENT: be careful to make the distinction between when you need this . and this ; or this ,
Some of the short statements ended up being just fragments instead of whole statements because you made them a separate sentence instead of connecting them to another.
for EX this:
"I quietly observed this from my perch, a smooth rock above the parking alcove for guests." not this: " I quietly observed this from my perch. A smooth rock above the parking alcove for guests."
or
this:
"I believed it was magic; magic flowing through the skies and tying it seamlessly to the lights." not this: "I believed it was magic. Magic flowing through the skies and tying it seamlessly to the lights."
~end book sized comment~
Thanks shan. I actually did that on purpose this time. Alot of the fragments were there for emphasis or to represent fragments of thoughts.
ReplyDeleteBut yes, the spots you picked out do need to be changed to what you have as an alternative.